that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
how drunk are you?
Several
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
