I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
