Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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