if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Duck Duck Cougar?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
