He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
