I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
