Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
