Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
