btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
