when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize