So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
