WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
