dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
