There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
