he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
