Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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