Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The power of my boobs compel you
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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