The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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