So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
