I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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