"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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