The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
