I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
