this beer tastes like vomit already
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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