making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
