I want to make a zoo with you.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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