those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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