I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
