Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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