I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
