to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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