i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just high enough for therapy.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
