fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
