the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
