Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
please come you make the beer taste better
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
