slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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