My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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