Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
