It's Friday. Sex?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
