id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
