I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
