brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I feel like a drive thru vagina
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
