too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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