Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize