Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
