i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
