If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
