Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
