I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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