My hand turned me down
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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