Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I would ride that face into the sunset
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize