What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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