he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
