i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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