I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
