Just cropdusted the office
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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