just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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