I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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