On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
