I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
