he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
